I read a post today in my writing circle that spoke a bit about the fear that a lot of us writers have as we grow individually and in our writing.
When what we wrote in the past comes back to haunt us or makes us wince.
I know I have several in my back log of posts that contain words and perspectives and ideas that, if I read them now, would certainly make me cringe. Like, I would be groaning inwardly and outwardly.
I have written in the past about modesty. Remember modest is hottest? Please forgive me. I never want to hear that phrase ever again.
I have written about female submission in the home.
I have written about being a pastor's wife. What that looks like. Expectations from both ourselves and from others.
Marriage, and how to love and serve our husband's more. How to protect them and pray for them. I even read a book that was recommended to me during marriage counseling titled The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. After reading that book, I shared all the nuggets I took away from it with other women. So they could be better wives and women. Knowing what I do now, information I didn't have prior and I didn't have a firm grasp on what a marriage was supposed to look like, that makes me cringe inside. Again, forgive me.
I have written about Christian Parenting.
Fitness and health.
Politics and social issues.
I started writing online back in 2002, just before I met my ex husband. Does anyone remember My Open Diary? My Open Diary was my very first venture in putting my thoughts and words out for the world to read. I wrote about so many things back then, but mostly, because I was a single gal all of the age of 21 and 22, I wrote about dating and relationships and boys. I wrote a little about faith as well, although at that time in my life I was a newer believer, having just come to Christ when I was 19 years old.
Prior to My Open Diary, I wrote in journals. I still write in them to this day. But back then, because blogs hadn't really exploded just yet, I spent every morning and night writing in those blank pages. I couldn't leave a Target or specialty store without buying myself another journal. Writing has always been my passion and a way for me to reveal the deepest parts of myself. My writings weren't always deep and meaningful. Sometimes they would simply be recollections of the day, or an idea that popped in my head that I didn't want to forget, or a memory that caught me by surprise, or a message I heard that I wanted to think on later.
I love words.
Next came Typepad, which I started after my daughter was born in 2006. Then Blogger. Wordpress.
I have come a long way from the days of a young 20 year old woman who was just barely dabbling in the world of writing. She is much more sure of herself. More firm in her convictions. Life has tossed her around and forced her to the ground quite a bit. There are most definitely posts from my past and youth that I regret, or at least make me wince a tad.
However, since we grow as people (hopefully), it is not too surprising that the things we once believed and held so tightly to shift and give way. Our ideas and beliefs and even perspectives change because people come into our lives as teachers. We experience events and go on new journeys. We grow as people, and therefore, since I have grown, my story telling has as well.
At every stage of your life, you share what you know at the time. That is what I did. Every topic I attempted to tackle or give perspective on, I shared based on my understanding at the time. I'll bet you a margarita that if I were to write about some of those topics listed above today, they would come from a very different voice than that of 22 year old Tiffany.
As it should be.
We shouldn't be afraid to put out our words and our beliefs simply because in the future, things may shift. My ideas and thoughts surrounding church, ministry, marriage/relationships, politics, women/men, have evolved. They are fuller and with a little more color. Growth and living a little does that to you.
So write. Share. Let life happen. I believe we can choose to grow and shift, or we can choose to stay put and be stagnant. Personally, I love watching those I love grow in order to become who God intended them to be.
I have posts that I wish I could go back and delete or have a do over, but at the same time, I am glad for those posts too. Because now I get to see the kind of woman I have become and still working on becoming. My life isn't over yet.
Neither is yours.