Anybody here enjoy the Enneagram? Do you know what number you are?
I am an Eight on the Enneagram, with a very strong Nine wing. What the heck does all that mean? Allow me to share very briefly.
Basically, the Enneagram is a system of personality tests or typing that describes patterns in how people view the world and manage their emotions. Basically, it gives us a an understanding of why we do what we do based on our core motivations and core fears. There are a ton of personality tests, and I have certainly taken my fair share, but I like the enneagram because it doesn't just say I am this way or that way, but helps me get to the root of why I behave or react in a certain way.
There are several Enneagram tests you can take. I personally took the test at http://yourenneagramcoach.com as they offer a more biblical approach to the system. They also have additional courses that you can purchase to do a deeper discovery into the Enneagram and even your type, as well as books you can purchase on Amazon. My test reflected that I am an Eight. Here is how an Eight is described:
Being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, manipulated, and left at the mercy of injustice
Protecting themselves and those in their inner circle.
Lust/Excess—constantly desiring intensity, control, and power; pushing themselves willfully on life and people in order to get what they desire.
Core Longing (message they long to hear):
You will not be betrayed.
*Definitions from the Your Enneagram Coach website.*
I have been studying my type for awhile and this seems to be right on par for me. Which has led me to do a lot of thinking about what I want to say, how I want to empower those around me and equip those I believe I am called to serve. But especially now, I feel like my eightness is really coming out after having to be told to stay inside for the "greater good" and in order to save lives. I am fully compassionate and aware that there are people who need help and are unable to leave their homes for fear of catching this virus could mean a death sentence for them. But, I also see that healthy people need to leave their homes, and they need to work and they need community. So, I am feeling this rise in me to rebel against the authorities who are trying to control me, as well as seek justice a little bit and fight for our freedoms.
Why am I sharing all of this with you? Honestly, I think I want you to understand a little bit about how I am wired. How I think and why I say and do things the way that I say and do them. Each of us desire to be known and understood. Don't you? Why do you do what you do? What makes you tick? What fires you up? Are you able to be that woman you are on the inside, equally on the outside? What do you really long to hear from those around you? What are you afraid of?
During our time of being closed in, we have had an excess amount of time to spend alone and in our thoughts. For a lot of us, this may have felt like the break we desperately needed. We needed a pause on all of the activity and bustle from our lives and to just be. No where to go. Everything on our calendar was cancelled. What we thought would be a short break actually made us a little excited. I will be honest and say at first, I was happy to not have to go into my job. I could be at home with the kids. I had been praying for that specifically for awhile now. I still believe it was a little gift from God as He saw my heart and what I longed for.
This "pause" has now turned into something much different, and I won't spend the time on this post to share my thoughts on what I believe is really happening (don't worry, that is coming). What I want us to spend time doing today, together, is to think about what is coming out of this prolonged shut in. As you have spent countless hours alone and in your head: what has come of it?
Anything becoming more clear about who you are as a woman? As a human being? As a Christ follower? If you have a job that you will be heading back to soon, are you excited to go back? Or is your heart longing for something different? To do something else? Maybe you have been like me and you have enjoyed writing or reading more. Maybe you have even attempted to try and earn additional income with those gifts.
What has God spurred in you recently? I don't get up as early in the morning anymore, now that I don't have to be at work right now, but I have developed a pretty consistent morning routine. Just ask my sister, Sheena, who comes out of her bedroom and literally says to me "You are already doing things!" She and I are completely different, but even she would say that this time during our shut in has lit some fire in her. When you spend as much time as we have in isolation (aside from being with our children, if we have any), you are bound to have a great deal of introspective moments. Have those moments included how much time you spend with God? Are you reading His word and praying? Do you have a routine in place for that?
What has come out during this time in my own heart is a desire to disciple women as they walk with Jesus. I want to be an advocate and a voice for faith, freedom, and loveliness. I will continue to write and share, as it is my favorite outlet for all of my thoughts and feelings. I love connecting with my friends on social media and posting in my stories of all that I am up to, encouraging you to share what you are up to. I love seeing what moves my friends and how I can support them.
This time has also pushed me to spend more time doing the things I said I never had time for. Like, taking a drive to the beach and spending slow hours just doing nothing but hanging with the family without a plan or agenda. Just being. Or saying yes to an invitation to a dinner party, or a gathering with friends. Or visiting far away loved ones. When we can finally hug people again, get ready. I am coming in for ya! So, if you are not a hugger, I apologize. I won't be able to help it. I miss you.
What has come out during your time closed in? How can I pray and encourage you?