It Is Okay To Feel Disappointed, Sad and Angry Right Now
Yesterday was my daughter's 14th birthday. She was especially disappointed because on top of her not being able to participate in all of her 8th grade promotion activities that were scheduled, due to the school closing for the remainder of the year, but now she has to celebrate her birthday away from her friends and a good portion of her family.
That is hard. The disappointment is real. I am disappointed for her. I told her it was okay to feel all of this disappointment and sadness and even anger. It isn't fair. It is frustrating. I told her I was sorry.
That same day, I saw a post from a gal I am friends with on Facebook she shared from another account. Essentially, it was a post about how Anne Frank had to be in hiding with her family in order to avoid going to the concentration camps, and that we would all be fine with our Netflix and internet and homes. The end of that post said "Feeling Grateful Yet?"
One, that is emotionally manipulative and toxic positivity. I am done playing nice with it and I am okay now with confronting it and attacking it. After what I have been through over the last 14 years, I no longer tolerate toxic positivity and gaslighting in my life or around me. It is a trigger for me, personally. So I do understand that this person may not have been sharing this post because they wanted to manipulate. Perhaps there are people in their life who are extremely ungrateful. I don't know.
But what I do know is that right now, sister friends, it is okay to be disappointed in what is happening. I believe I have shared this before. The struggle is very real for a lot of us. Please don't tell us to be more grateful, when you haven't bothered to listen to what is hurting our hearts at this moment.
I can't work at my full time job right now. The one that was providing for me and my kids. Are you willing to step up to the plate and pay my bills or put food on my table for my children? Still want to tell me and others like me if I feel grateful yet?
My daughter and my son are missing out on so much, including more time with their daddy, Gramie and Papa. They are missing their friends, their school, their sports. Still want to tell my kids and other kids like them if they feel grateful yet?
My parents and in laws who are within the high risk range for are unable to leave their homes and hug and kiss their grandkids. Yes. There is Zoom and FaceTime. But technology does not replace the love and kindness and physical hugs and kisses they long to give to their grand babies. You want to tell them and others like them if they feel grateful yet?
People are hurting, scared, stripped of freedoms, alone, depressed, financially burdened, even physically ill with this disgusting virus that I wish and pray would just die an ugly death and go back to hell where it came from. Yes, they may very well have their wine, Netflix and food deliveries. Those things can bring some comfort during hard seasons. A brief relief in the midst of chaos and confusion and fear. But don't you dare think that it is acceptable to dismiss a person's emotions or feelings simply because someone else in the past or present has it worse than them. May I kindly ask you to simply shut up.
Is that me speaking in anger? A little bit. It triggered something in me, maybe perhaps after recognizing how much I experienced emotionally at the hands of someone I loved. I just don't tolerate it anymore. I won't tolerate it anymore. God has brought forth in my path too many hurting people for me to simply dismiss their feelings and anguish.
Let's be a people who recognize that hurt comes in all shapes and sizes. We must understand that hurt and trauma, while it may not seem as big of a deal to you, and someone else could very well have it worse. But their trauma and hurt is their trauma and hurt. It is not for you to evaluate it and weight it against the rest of the world, and then simply tell them they should be more grateful because they have "fill in the blank."
I don't want to be known as a self-righteous Christian. One who virtue signals and gaslights. No. I want to be someone who hears, sees and acts. I want to usher in with whatever I can to help that person heal. Feel loved and seen. And show them Jesus as much as I can in everything I do.
Let's be hope dealers and love givers.