Go From Complaining to Living

When you are healing through your own personal crisis, how does one go from complaining and living in fear, to simply living?

Is that even possible when you still feel so much hurt and everything is so uncertain?

I say yes.

I say yes, because I am currently trying to do it. But, and this is just brutal honesty, it takes a lot of effort and energy and being intentional and honest with yourself.

This last weekend was their daddy's birthday (Happy birthday to him!), so naturally, they were off to spend the weekend with him. Those weekends are the hardest for me. I love "me" time, but the second my kids are away from me, I start to miss them something awful. However, I know that it is good for me to take breaks and live my life and take care of myself as well. My job as mother, even as a single one right now, is not over. I must be intentional with living and moving forward.

This past weekend, I had every intention of meeting up with my girlfriends and hanging out and letting loose. But instead, I didn't do anything.

It was glorious. That was living, for me.

After Sean had his baseball game that morning, the kids were off, and I went straight home, cleaned up my space, did some much needed laundry, read, and then I took a nap. Yes. Girl.

Take that nap.

People are often afraid of being alone, especially during a season like this because they think it validates the idea that they are not worthy of having companionship or community. Or it validates the reasons why someone left them or why their relationships ended.

Please don't allow those beliefs to permeate any further into your heart and head. The reality is relationships end for all sorts of reasons. It is sad and sometimes tragic, but it happens. You choosing to be alone on a weekend does not validate your worth.

Maybe it is what you need to do to start moving forward and retaining a new grip on your life. Maybe being alone for awhile means you get to reconnect with yourself and what matters the most to you and with what you want. It is okay. You will be okay.

You may be asking how you can start living when you feel so broken that the idea of moving forward feels like a monstrous task. What if you never get over what broke your heart in the first place?

I don't have the answer to that. All I can share with you is this: Choose today to start living. Find a new hobby. Rediscover what makes you laugh. Travel by yourself. Discover your inner child again. All those things you did before you had children, a spouse, responsibilities....would you like to try those things again?

Perhaps you have felt like you were in a prison for so because you were so busy serving and loving other people, that you forgot to love and take care of yourself. Can you try that, sister?

Perhaps you had been so caught up in doing all the things you thought you had to do in order to keep him and to make sure he stayed in love with you, that you lost sight of who you really were. Can you spend that time to rediscover her, again?

Or maybe, those dreams and goals you had, or that ministry you wanted to be a part of, or that community project you wanted to get involved in, or that business idea that has been brewing in that gorgeous head of yours, and you were constantly discouraged from doing it......maybe now is the time to go for it?

Choosing to live again will look very different for every single one of you. Expressing gratitude for the life we currently have takes effort, even if it is a life that has been shaken a little bit and looks a lot different than it once did. You can still be grateful. You can still choose joy in your circumstances. You can still smile and be light to those around you. You don't have to sulk and whine and complain about how hard your life is right now.

Been there. Done that. Girl, we can do better. Whining and complaining does nothing for you. Trust.

Start living again sweet girl. If you are reading this, it means you are alive. Hallelujah! You are worth it.

In Victory,

Tiffany